Most parents reach out to me after noticing a change in their child’s behavior. The most common question is “Is this normal, hormonal teenage behavior or is this a red flag?”

Unfortunately, the line between these two is blurry. Young people are in a peculiar position in life during adolescence. They often seek answers to questions they don’t yet know how to ask. Adolescents sometimes get swept up in emotions, physical changes, and natural urges that they struggle to understand. Their concept of who they are in this world is coming into focus as they seek to understand where and how they fit into their family systems and friend groups. All the while, these same young people are trying to keep their grades up, perform well in school activities, manage expectations and responsibilities, and navigate delicate social dynamics. It’s confusing and difficult being a kid.

What are some red flags to look out for?

• A significant change in mood or appetite

• A significant change in friends not co-occurring with a new school year or new school activity

• A shift toward isolating

• Increased stress or anxiety

• Headaches

• A major loss due to death, a move, or divorce

• Getting in trouble at school

• Bullying

• Acting out via anger and destructive behavior

• A major drop in grades

• Losing enjoyment for things and activities they used to enjoy

• Major changes in sleep patterns

• Mention of suicidal thoughts or self harm

Helping Teens Thrive: The Six Core Principles of ACT

As a parent, you want the best for your teen. You want them to grow into a confident, resilient, and emotionally healthy individual. But adolescence can be a challenging time—filled with self-doubt, social pressures, and big emotions. That’s where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help.

ACT is a research-backed approach that teaches teens how to handle difficult thoughts and feelings while taking meaningful steps toward the life they want to live. Here’s how the six core principles of ACT apply to teens:

1. Acceptance: Learning to Make Space for Feelings

Instead of fighting or avoiding painful emotions, ACT helps teens learn to accept them without judgment. Life comes with ups and downs—stress about school, friendship struggles, or feelings of insecurity. By acknowledging emotions rather than pushing them away, teens develop emotional resilience and stop being controlled by their fears.

👉 Example: Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t feel anxious before a test,” a teen learns to say, “It’s okay to feel nervous—this feeling will pass.”

2. Cognitive Defusion: Not Believing Every Thought

Teens often experience harsh self-judgment and overwhelming thoughts like "I'm not good enough" or "Everyone thinks I’m weird." ACT teaches them that thoughts are just thoughts—not facts. When they stop fusing with negative thinking, they gain the freedom to act based on their values, not their doubts.

👉 Example: A teen who thinks, "I'm a failure because I got a bad grade," learns to step back and say, "I had a tough test, but that doesn’t define me."

3. Being Present: Learning to Focus on the Now

With constant digital distractions and worries about the future, teens often struggle to stay present. ACT encourages mindfulness—helping teens stay engaged in the moment rather than dwelling on regrets or fears.

👉 Example: Instead of worrying about what others think in social situations, a teen learns to focus on what they can control—how they engage in conversations and enjoy the experience.

4. Self-as-Context: You Are More Than Your Thoughts and Feelings

ACT helps teens see that they are not defined by their struggles. Just because they feel sad, anxious, or insecure doesn’t mean that’s who they are. They learn to separate their core identity from temporary emotions, which helps build a stronger sense of self.

👉 Example: Instead of thinking, "I'm an anxious person," a teen can say, "I'm feeling anxious right now, but that’s not all that I am."

5. Values: Discovering What Truly Matters

Teens often feel lost or unsure of who they are. ACT helps them clarify their values—what kind of person they want to be, what matters most to them, and how they want to show up in the world. When they align their actions with their values, life feels more meaningful and fulfilling.

👉 Example: A teen who values kindness but struggles with social anxiety might take small steps to reach out to others, even when it’s uncomfortable.

6. Committed Action: Taking Steps Toward Growth

ACT isn’t just about understanding emotions—it’s about taking action despite fear or discomfort. Teens learn that they don’t have to wait until they “feel ready” to pursue their goals. They can take small, intentional steps toward what matters, even when it’s hard.

👉 Example: A teen who wants to try out for a sports team but is afraid of failure learns to take action anyway—because courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s moving forward despite it.

Helping Your Teen Build a Resilient Mindset

ACT equips teens with the tools to navigate life’s challenges while staying true to their values. Through acceptance, mindfulness, and committed action, they learn to handle emotions in a healthy way, overcome self-doubt, and build a fulfilling life—one step at a time.

If your teen is struggling with anxiety, stress, or self-doubt, ACT-based counseling can help them build the resilience and confidence they need to thrive. Let’s take the first step together.